*sigh*sigh*sigh*

special edition featuring alia & olio

alia : DAMN! what's with you guys!
It's love merely just a chemical reaction and only our looks that counts??
olio : well..looks has the biggest percentage indeed.
alia : why?
olio : If I want to chat about stuff, I still can converse with my friends.
If I want to make L.O.V.E, gotta be with some pretty girl.
The idea of kissing an ugly-fatty-chatty girl is...YEKH!
alia : So? just physical?
olio : Women with brains sure give some extra points.
Still...physical factors counts. So...CALABOCA! (SHUT UP) I'm trying to watch tv here.
alia : but Olio, I'm breaking into pieces and you still won't listen....
olio : You have read the book , and applied into your silly love life...
So stop whining!
alia : Yea, I've tried to rationalize everything, but it' doesn't feel right...
olio : SHIT WOMAN! just make up your mind!
alia : I just don't know what I want now...everything just keep falling apart.
olio : Let them fall. Let everything go!
just LET GO!
Later, we'll patch everything, and it'll look better than before.
alia : When is later?
olio : We'll know when the right time comes.So, can we watch CSI now?
alia : yea...ok.

*sigh*sigh*

embun merajai kedua lensa di depan mataku
sebentar lagi mereka akan menjajahnya lalu memecahkannya
aduh,
seluruh ruas tulangku menangis
airmata membanjiri otot-otot yang mulai ungu
sekujur badanku bergetar
begitu dingin

sudah di bawah nol derajat?
masih?
masih kuatkah?
aku berlari mengejar sebentuk sampan yang lewat.
mau ke hulu?

ah..
mungkin jalan "paling aman" tanpa tusukan tombak
tapi erangan hatiku akan menggerus jantung

mau ke hilir?
penuh cakaran singa
penuh dentuman meriam
penuh hujatan sanak saudara

satu...dua...tiga....
sekarang musim hujan ke delapan

aku ingin menyerah..
selimut kesepian begitu menyesakkan
membuat gerah setiap jengkal kecamatan pori-pori
jiwa berhasrat membakar kebekuan yang panas ini

perjuangan sepiku belum selesai.

*sigh*

sedikit
tapi membuat bahagia dan mampu melipur lara

kalau keputusan yang aku ambil itu benar
kenapa rasanya sedih sekali?
kata hati itu maunya apa sih?

minggu palem

padahal sudah terbiasa
sendirian ke Gereja
kenapa sekarang rasanya sepi sekali?

daun palemku menunduk
dia tahu
betapa sepinya
yah
pilihan untuk berjuang sendirian
memang harus meringkuk dalam sepi

ada apa dengan instrutor saya??

Asatagha naga!
OH my GOD DRAGON!
dia orang BRAZIL yang nota bene nggak bisa berbahasa Indonesia.
Tiba-tiba kemarin dia menyenandungkan lagu itu!
Lagu dari grup band Indonesia yg sempat heboh gara-gara..yah tahulah,
ngabisin energi aja kalo diketik di sini.
Ini bukti bahwa lagu itu udah kebanyakan diputer di segala pelosok penjuru Jakarta.

darah,keringat dan air mata

And When I Die (Laura Nyro)
I'm not scared of dying
and I, don't really care if it' s peace you find in dying,
well then,
let the time be near
If it's peace you find in dying,
well then dying time is near just bundle up my coffin,
'cause it's cold way down there,
I hear that it's cold way down there,
yeah crazy cold,
way down there
And when I die,
and when I'm gone there'll be,
one child born in this world to carry on, to carry on
[Piano Solo]
Now troubles are many there as deep as a well
I can swear there ain't no Heaven
but I pray there ain't no hell
Swear there ain't no Heaven
and I'll pray there ain't no hell
but I'll never know by livin' only my dyin' will tell,
yes only my dyin' will tell,
oh yeah,
Only my dyin' will tell
And when I die,
and when I'm gone
there'll be, one child born,
in this world to carry on,
to carry on yeah yeah
[Instrumental Solo]
Give me my freedom for as long as I be
All I ask of livin' is to have no chains on me
All I ask of livin' is to have no chains on me
And all I ask of dyin' is to go natrually,
only wanna go naturally
Here I go!
hey hey
Here come the devil right behind look out children,
here he come here he come, heyyy
Don't wanna go by the devil
don't wanna go by the demon
don't wanna go by satan
don't wann die uneasy
just let me go naturally
And when I die,
and when I'm dead
dead and gone there'll be one child born,
in our world to carry on, to carry on

other songs from them such as : Hi De Ho, Lucretia Mc Evil,You've Made Me So Very Happy,Spinning Wheel, God Bless The Child also can make my spine chills...
Whoever got the CD or mp3...please...let me know...

Q : How to gain or loose GWB points?

WOW!
What a weekend.
Last long weekend I took a trip with a group of corporate gals.
At First I was reluctant to join their conversation.
However, as the caravelle rolls, it just took 15 mins to mingle with them.
Then we started to gossip and measure each other's GWB points.
I thought I wasn't nominated as a member. Turned out I WAS true GWB myself.
Denial was on the tip of my tongue, since I've been applying that book ("He's Just Not That Into You" by Greg Behrendt and Liz Tucillo) vigorously in my life. Looking at everything in realistic way and wiser moves.
yeah rite...

A : TO GAIN
1. Simply follow your desire before you act. Never ever think before hand, just do it. Surely within 5 mins you'll have the smirk on your sparkly face. Perhaps you'll regret it within 10 mins.
2. Fall for T.H.E W.R.O.N.G guy. O.P.P, guys who just not into us, guys who's waaaaay beyong our league, guys with no future, destructive exes, cheaters are definitely fall into that classification. Yet they are ultra-attractive for us. Indeed.
3. Waiting, hoping, sighing, dreaming and other destructive act in -ing forms about Mr. W.R.O.N.G. Yes, dear, they surely destruct your feeling. For those guys are just not real.

TO LOSE
1. Think, re-think and THINK again before you act. The Highest Who Made Us has given a brain for us to use.I'm deeply understand that when our endorphine from el ou vee ee or infatuation soar, our grey cells do not seems to work properly.
2. Consult with other GWB members. Every women seem to have the ability to think logically when it doesn't concerned with their object of affection.
3. Trust your gut feeling.Although sometimes it might misdirect.

After the trip, I was honoured as the president of GWB.
Since I've gained the highest points in such a short period.
yea!

he is not naturally evil (but Satan rejected his soul and heaven doesn't seem to be his home)

He's a PETA activist
He wrote ultra beautiful satiric songs.
He's the last famous international playboy
He's the one for my fatty

I never wanted to kill
I am not naturally evil
Such things I do
Just to make myself
More attractive to you
Have I failed ?

So the life I have made
May seem wrong to you
But, I’ve never been surer (well not so sure anyway)
It’s my life to ruin
My own way

so if i see you
and i tell you
i love you
don't make fun of me later
cause i'm just L.O.S.T
(this part is dedicated to all the GWB gals)


ganteng2 kok homo...
WHOA!
this guy has maliciously melt my feeling with Morrissey's songs.

GWB

yea...i have been appointed as the latest president.
because i've gained hundreds of extra points.
Was it considered as stupidity?

not snore but i talk in my sleep

Saut pooh's comment has reminds me about an event a decade ago.
I was attending summer school in the big apple.
Stayed at my second cousin's apt.
Turned out that while we were sleeping,
we were talking with each other.
The next morning we didn't remember a thing.
Her sister said that we were actually held a conversation!
COOL!
I wonder ...
whether I can answer to question in deep sleep.

anaknya Pak Takdir

bear this in mind!
bootylicious babes who got independent attitude
that makes people loose their breath.
taught me how to survive



lately i've been brainwashing myself with their songs
talk about confident booster

mimpi-mimpi
mereka
cuma sekedar bunga tidur
atau
pertanda?

Beberapa tahun yang lalu,
medio 97, saya pernah ujug-ujug dapat "pencerahan".
Sebenernya apa sih "bahagia" itu?
Salah seorang sahabat karib pernah bilang,
"Menjadi bahagia itu pilihan, bukan sembarangan jatuh dari langit".
Hmmm...reaksi langsung saya : nggak segampang itu.
Suatu saat yang lalu saya merasa BAHAGIA (yak betul, dicetak tebal dan italic),
ternyata kebahagiaan itu semu, tidak secuilpun mengandung kenyataan.
Tapi saya yakin betul, itu rasanya seperti di langit ke delapan.
Kemudian saat realita menohok, yah, jatuh berdebum kembali ke bumi.
Beberapa hari yang lalu, senyum seorang sahabat tersayang mengingatkan akan "pencerahan 97". Ingatan ini tersambung dengan ajaran Pak Syl, guru etika masa SMA, bahwa manusia itu bisa memilih, untuk menjadi orang egois, altruis dan yang menurut pandangan umum sempurna adalah orang yang bisa menyeimbangkan keduanya. Pilihan pertama saya adalah yang kedua.
Gampang juga ternyata memilihnya, jadi untuk bahagia, saya mesti mengerti esensi dari kebahagiaan itu sendiri.
Pencerahan waktu itu adalah :
"Esensi dari kebahagian (saya) adalah membuat orang lain bahagia".
*semoga oh semoga saya bisa membuat sahabat tersayang itu bahagia*

SD dengan uang sekolah 7 digit

Sudah lama saya menantikan untuk memasuki gedung itu. Sebuah Sekolah National Plus di bilangan Simprug dengan inisial "BN". Sejak gedung itu dibangun saya amat sangat penasaran..bagaimana isinya dan terutama: BAGAIMANA ANAK-ANAKNYA.
Berhubungan dengan gaya, tutur kata, dan sopan santun dan keingintahuan mereka.
Begitu masuk, satpam berkostum safari menyapa dengan ramah (jarang-jarang ada yang ramah),mempersilahkan saya untuk parkir di basement.
Ruang parkir basement berisi mobil-mobil yang cukup membuat menganga, beberapa toyota Alphard (sedang tren rupanya mobil ini) nangkring dengan megahnya. Masuk ke dalam, lift menunggu dengan sabar. SIM ditukar dengan visitor card,entah kenapa, petugas satpam memberikan parent card. * i wish i'm a parent* Kemudian saya sampai ke lobi untuk menunggu seorang rekan.
astaga...
ini sekolah atau kantor perusahaan multi nasional di bilangan Sudirman?
karena bau dan interiornya sama...
Saya langsung membayangkan anak-anak yang angkuh, snob dan sombong..

Ternyata?
wah..mereka sopan-sopan, penuh rasa ingin tahu dan manis-manis, dengan bahasa Inggris yang canggih pula. Hari ini, mereka tidak memakai seragam," a way to express themselves" kata salah satu gurunya. Sedikit aneh rasanya mengajar segerombolan anak-anak berbaju bebas.
Sayapun amat menikmati mengajar mereka dan tambah girang lagi ketika beberapa diantaranya menyapa di kantin. Sebuah kafetaria besar di mana para guru dan siswa makan siang bersama. Dengan pilihan makanan menandingi puja sera mal, untung kebanyakan mereka membawa bekal dari rumah.(fiuuuu)

Pada saat memasuki lift, sedikit berpikir...
"pernah nggak ya anak-anak ini jajan kue cubit?"

not an actor but an eye candy

bless him
for his abysmal acting ability

yet

such a feast for sore and acheing eyes
I Thank The Lord
for every sight of him
for creating perfect shape for a male being
for his heterosexual desire
for letting him act in movies
GEORGEUS...
because he's just GEORGEUS

harus terus diingat

sebuah kata mutiara dari seorang wartawan senior harian KOMPAS
yang sudah melanglang buana ke segala penjuru dunia (dan alumni SMA Tarakanita I) dan sudah mencapai aktualisasi diri :

"Jangan bandingkan dirimu dengan orang lain
bandingkan dengan dirimu sendiri!"

Oh ibu,
terima kasih!